By Emily Andrews
The disturbed mind of the Christmas Day airline bomber is evident in a series of tormented postings he wrote on the internet.
As a lonely 18-year-old, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab turned to an Islamic web forum as he struggled with his shame over his sexuality and growing alienation from his family.
His innermost thoughts reveal a shy and awkward teenager who loved football – but also contain chilling hints of the terrorist he would become.
They show an increasingly religious and intolerant young man who fantasised about becoming a Muslim holy warrior in the ‘great jihad’ that would take place across the world.
In 310 internet posts written between 2005 and 2007, ‘Farouk1986’ – Abdulmutallab’s middle name and year of birth – desperately searches for guidance and help in hastily written messages filled with spelling and grammatical errors.
While at a prestigious British boarding school in Togo, he wrote: ‘First of all, I have no friends.
‘Not because I do not socialise, etc but because either people do not want to get too close to me as they go partying and stuff while I don’t, or they are bad people who befriend me and influence me to do bad things.
‘Hence I am in a situation where I do not have a friend, I have no one to speak too, no one to consult, no one to support me and I feel depressed and lonely. I do not know what to do.’
The posts were made on an Islamic bulletin board called Gawaher, which literally translates from Arabic as ‘gems’ or ‘jewels,’ but can also be read as ‘essence’ or ‘spirit’.
They started in 2005 when Abdulmutallab was 18 and preparing to apply to British universities.
He wrote about his privileged upbringing in Nigeria and his family’s wealth.
Abdulmutallab’s father, Alhaji Umaru Mutallab, a frequent visitor to the U.S., retired this year as chairman of First Bank of Nigeria and still sits on the boards of several prominent Nigerian firms....
With thanks to WomenAgainstSharia
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